A Rhetorical Question.... perhaps some insight is needed though...

Do you ever get that feeling of when something from the past comes wondering back into your mind and you have questions about it? And you really want to ask someone about the things from the situation that was there but you know that the question will lead to an answer to which you might not want to hear, OR you would want to hear, but in the end it makes things harder.

I feel as though I am in that place, and have been for awhile. No I am not going to voice the question(s) or the topic but rather the question of what DO you do in this? I know that there is an answer that I would want to hear, but if I heard it then what would I do with it? How would it affect me? Perhaps even, why WOULD I ask the question when I know that if it is one answer and I was able to go back in time it would change my entire life. Am I not satisfied with the life that I would want to know that it could have been another way? Am I not happy with my life, because I believe that I am happy. I wouldn't I be! 

Yet the question still comes back into my mind.. Why do I want to know so bad? I know that no matter what I would be setting myself up to be hurt. If I got one answer then would it make me want to be able to go back in time, even though it would be a whole lot of things would be different and not necessarily in a good way. But if it was the other answer, the one that would feel like a little stab would I be able to put it all behind me?

As I write this I realize that there was more to this then I thought. Originally just a little random rhetorical post has now become something more. Perhaps this is one of those things that needs to go on the list of things to give to God. Well in saying that I know it needs to go to Him. 

Oh the joys of our past, and the choices we all make. If only we were able to look back upon it in different lenses and see what our lives would have been like had we chosen different.