my own cardboard box

I want to go home.

Home. One that I don't have. Where is my home?

I have nowhere to go. I feel lost, and blind. I feel betrayed, let down, unwanted.

I am living in a house, yet again, in which I feel I am unwanted, only a week to go, then freedom. Freedom to where? I am not sure, but it will at least be away from here.

Perhaps it is my time to leave here once again, move on to something new.

You have blind sided me with your thoughts, our friendship seems now to be based on a superfical things. You shouldn't have asked me, you should have let me go, not lead me on, or play with my mind, my feelings, my life.

I am tired, and grow more so everday. What do I do but wait?

Oh to be 4 again, and not have these cares, worries, or troubles. I am letting go, and in that I have to let you go.

Perhaps you make my desision easier, one that was tough, is now growing easier.

You were only a friend, those who come into your life for only chapters, then leave. Some come back, but some are gone forever. Who knows which we are, but for now, I am sure that you are gone. And as for me, I will soon be gone, off to a place miles away.

I want to go home.




You know that feeling when you are so emotionally tired, you just want to sleep, and thats all? I don't know what to do. Do I take a break from it all, from the ones I love, from the places I live?

I am currently living with my a couple, people that it seems I will one day be apart of in their family. I am very sad to say that the days are being counted down to when I can leave. No care is being taken to get to know eachother. Only awkardness and longing for the other to leave. I feel unwanted, unapreciated. I walk around the house, trying not to be heard by one in particular. I don't want to see him. For he only makes things worse, doesn't care to get to know us, doesn't want us around. If you didn't want us here then you should have said no at the start. I have these feelings of when I lived with my family and another, I felt that I was always walking on eggshells, and that I had nowhere to go. We came wanting to build relationship, and we will walk away with a heavy heart.


I am tired by fake friendships. I do not wish for that on anyone. A friendship that had ment a lot, was not where I thought it was at. You have betrayed me and my trust. I didn't need to have the part, I didn't want the part anymore, I wanted your friendship, one that I knew was slipping away. You held it all against me though, you bottled it up, and now have let it upon me, months later, when I thought it was all said and done, when I thought we were okay once again. You have proved me wrong. And now you see, you have lost a friend for the moment.

Now this was happend, I feel my decision is easier though. Perhaps I will move away. Once wanting to work on our friendship, now not know at all what to do. If I move, I know won't feel like I am leaving a lot behind, for those who do love me will understand.