from the heart of a prairie girl

I thought I knew who you where,
but I felt like you've deceived me.
Sending me secret, hidin alibis,
the truth now lost in where I can from.

Stop pushing all the lies,
the "sweet" lullabies,
stop speaking in my ear, my head,
oh the lies.
In the name of the one,
who left his only son,
the one who died to save us,
I tell you to stop this disease.
Disease of all the evil in my life,
YOU DON'T BELONG.

I thought you said three years,
how stupid was I?
Jumping to conclusions,
thinking I knew the way.
I was wrong to assume,
I struggle everyday.
And now I'm not sitting doing nothing,
but busting my ass
and for what?
Just a fricken little pass?

Tired of the money,
the bills, the loans, the school
they just suck it all away
on ridiculous things.
Why do they waste?
People waitting in this world,
Street corners, panhandlers, Aids/HIV,
death and the dying,
the young, the old
educated sitting with degrees,
not using what they know,
but what they have on Skid Row.

Giving me this and that,
i think I'm loosing my respect.
And for what?
Who am I doing this for, if its not my choice?

I'm not hearing what you're saying,
if its anything at all.
Please stop all that muttering,
I can't hear you at all.
You're supposed to be my strength when I am weak,
The treasure that I seek,
but I'm lost without a map,
a guide,
or a way to find my way back.

I've done wrong,
let myself down.
You say you forgive me,
but I keep doing the same dam thing.
Again, How stupid am I?
Changed my thoughts,
my ways, for one.
Oh that makes me sick.
have I forgotten who I am,
where I've came from?
Already tired of the choices,
for the both of us.
Not just impacting me,
but your life to the fullest.
I can't do it anymore
it's my life,
not yours.
If I'm not the one,
maybe we should just move on.

I'm ready to give up,
move on with what I have.
Do what I want, what I can.
Don't need your permission,
I was doing just fine, till you came along.
Or is that just another big lie?

Blessed be your name?
What?
Oh,right,
all the things you've gave me.
The fact that you saved me
Rescued me from my hole,
the despair,
the negativity of it all.

Hold on.
I want it all.
Father speak to me please
I'm begging you, on my knees.
Tell me right from the wrong,
the future from the past.
Please stop messing with my mind,
I want to feel set free,
untie these binds,
Oh father of mine.