Fathers

During some debrief time this week after we had heard from our speaker, a middle aged male, who spoke on respecting women, and the rates in which women/girls are terminated because of their sex, I realized something very scary and sad.

We had split up the men and women of our school to debrief this week of information. After listening to a bunch of girls say how they would have preferred hearing a female speak on this topic, or were struggling with the fact that it was a male speaking about how women "feel" and are treated, I realized that the majority of the women in the room (there were 9 of us) didn't feel respected by men most of the time. I was then asked what my thoughts were on the week. I explained that I really liked listening to him speak, and that hearing it from a man is always a good thing as it gives us a different perspective, and that it is coming from a kind and Godly heart, unlike a lot of men where they are coming with their own angles. I then went on to say that as I had grown up in my teenage years living with my dad and brother I felt that I could relate more to men, and I valued what they have to say. I explained that I had a dad that loved me very much, one who always built me up, said I could do anything from the day I was born, told me I was beautiful, and who always trusted me even when I would screw up. I had a dad who actually cared for who I was. Our school leader than asked the group of women if any others had dads like that, to which no body raised their hand, one said maybe kind of but not to the degree that Mallory speaks of. Boom, there is was, a brick had hit me. I was the only girl of out 9 who had a loving, caring father. One that resembles only a little of Gods love for us as his children. But compared to the rest of the women the little bit that my dad resembles (even coming from a non-Christan home) was more than anything the others had experienced. My heart broke. All I thought was wow, how blessed was I, and how blessed I still am to have such an amazing dad. Thank you God for giving me that gift.

As I processed this throughout the day and talked with Marshall, I expressed my fear for being a mother, but also that I would place such high expectations on him to be an amazing dad. As we talked I realized that if what Marshall is doing for me now, and how he treats me, and respects me, and that it is a ever growing and improving thing, he will be an amazing dad and although we both will have our ups and downs, we will be able to pull threw with God helping us every step of the way.

Thank you dad. Thank you for being so great, even when you feel like you failed us. You were always there, if not in person, by phone. I could always count on you in any situation and you would judge me, or love me less. I hope that I can raise my child how you raised me, and yes, of course I will learn from your mistakes and try not to do them, but when I make a mistake I will fess up to my child and ask for forgiveness, just like you did. I love you dad.

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